


what if it happens again?

by fxrefliess



Category: Lego - All Media Types, Lego Ninjago, The LEGO Ninjago Movie (2017)
Genre: Angst, Angst to Fluff, Fluff, Ghost Cole, Hurt/Comfort, Legos, M/M, SO, but I wrote this to stop myself from panicking, friends/family, i love cole sm, its a win win, it’s kind of cliche, lavashipping - Freeform, lego ninjago - Freeform, ngl, post season five
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:34:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24016780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fxrefliess/pseuds/fxrefliess
Summary: it was worth getting in trouble for.and it sure as hell beat feeling like shit.( aka, cole panics abt his ghostly past. luckily kai is there to comfort him. implied lava. one-shot. angst to fluff. )
Relationships: Cole/Kai (Ninjago), Lavashipping, cole brookestone / kai smith, lava - Relationship
Comments: 3
Kudos: 81





	what if it happens again?

**Author's Note:**

> this is inspired by the breakdown I had a bit ago, and wrote this to calm me down ;,D thank god it worked 
> 
> anyway

overthinking.

it was a pain—a torturous sin that dawned in one’s mind relentlessly. the only way to wash such daring ideas out was to finish the thought process completely through, no matter how deep it became; no matter how many negative outcomes, all the bad  _ what-if _ ’s. 

and it hurt cole. 

sitting on the bathroom floor, door locked shut tight, the black ninja choked on a sob in the dark hours before dawn. hands rushingly tangled through his hair, stressfully pushing the dark locks away from his tired eyes.

it had been so long since he felt like this—since he panicked inside that it tore him apart. he was sure there were dark circles under his eyes from a constant lack of sleep. up until tonight however, he was able to hide how broken he was inside—even if early morning training swept any remaining energy out. maybe the reason it all exploded over the top this time was because he had bottled everything in for so long. perhaps it was a poor attempt to forget forever; surely, if the boy ignored hard enough, such ideas would go away, right?

at least he hoped so. cole has noticed he does not get what he wants more often than not. 

his fingers drew away from his hair, only to hesitate over the tub’s handle. dark eyes watched, like hawks, at where the faucet was. it was turned off, of course, but yet just as drowning in his mind. cole could only imagine how panicked he would be if the water was currently flowing.

he slipped back, staggering away—fingertips now rubbed against his face exhaustingly. 

knees then pulled up to his chest, the boy cradled himself on the floor. his head tilted to his center, ears half covered by the crooks of his elbows. he was not vocally sure if he was crying; the only way he knew was because of the tears dropping down his face. the little drips puddled his cotton pajama pants, and the fabric immediately absorbed it. 

he realized his own emotions scared him even more.

the water—the  _ tears _ fell harmlessly against his face. 

so, why the hell was he so  _ scared _ ?

another cry stuck within his throat suddenly, he covered his hands over his mouth; fingers interlocking as if it would guard the noise from echoing out into the room. he was terrified. there was someone up, walking around. wooden floorboards creaked underneath said mystery person’s weight. 

and the idea of someone seeing him this fragile, this  _ vulnerable _ , about something that should not nearly be as dramatic, broke him even more. 

the light was on in the bathroom, but yet the boy could still see the shadow of someone outside the locked door. knuckles knocked. and cole stared blankly as if someone was about to phase through the wood of the ship and attack.

“yo, can you hurry up, dude? i gotta  _ pee _ .”

oh, no.

biting down on his tongue to force any suspicious sobs not to break through, cole stood up. or—at least attempted to. his fingers gripped against the tub’s edge for support to pull him upright when something cracked.  _ loudly. _

“uh, is everyone okay? we out of toilet paper again?”

_ shut the  _ fuck _ up,  _ kai.

the earth ninja’s thoughts were so loud within his own head, but the brunet outside of the tainted safety of the bathroom knew  _ nothing _ . god, cole wanted to keep it that way, but it started to seem impossible. his panic attack breaking out was starting to be inevitable, and then—cole knew, everyone would look at him strangely once again. 

“i—,” the noirette stuttered, licking his lips in a poor attempt to calm his voice down enough to talk without choking against the air. “yeah, i’m—it’s okay. gim’e a sec.”

his damp eyes blinked away tears, quickly focusing back onto the tub where he had previously used as a perch to stand up from. it was cracked; indents of fingers obviously visible from where the earth ninja’s hands were placed only moments before. 

he had broken it. 

cole was flesh and bones, yet he barely felt human.

“ _ cole _ ?” harshly whispered back the fire ninja in realization, another knock echoing from the hall. suddenly all of the early morning grogginess from kai’s voice was gone—replaced with what sounded like genuine concern.

the directed boy only hummed, afraid if anymore words were spoken, it would totally embarrass him more. 

“do i need to get sensei?”

“ _ no _ !” too harsh, dial it down. “no—no, i’m  _ fine _ .”

“you, ah . . you don’t sound fine, dude.”

cole’s eyes closed. “i am,” he lied, hoping that his voice did not crack as hard as it did in his own ears.

“i’m coming in.”

the noirette did not even have it in him to try and deny kai’s entry. he knew forcing the other boy away would both sound and look even more suspicious. so he did all he could do; he curled back up into a ball, leaning absently on the wall furthest away from the door.

door now forced opened, a messy bed-headed kai walked in. cole did not see how the brunet reacted, and frankly he did not care—but the image flurried into his mind in a lazy attempt to wash away his fears.

kai probably blinked at the scene of their confident, mature leader cradling himself on the ground; he probably gasped, and might have even ran away to grab more useful help, even if cole had told him not to.

but all cole heard was silence, albeit his own tears, of course. and now all he felt were warm hands against his shoulders. 

“hey.”

he did not look up, did not even think to open his eyes.

“please look at me.”

_ no _ .

“cole?”

_ go away, kai.  _

“i’m not leaving until you open up.”

_ fuck. _

cole choked on another sob, light flooding his vision as his eyelids reluctantly opened. he was face to face with the fire ninja’s comforting features; a direct opposite to cole’s hard, broken complexion. 

“what’s wrong?” cole nervously opened his mouth to deny a problem, when kai continued, cutting the noirette off. “and don’t you dare say nothing, because i know that’s  _ bullshit _ .”

well. 

kai’s voice was tainted with a drop of bitterness, whether it was because he was woken up, or his time to use the toilet was delayed, cole knew not—but the words were still soft. it felt like the tone of voice the fire ninja used when he was determined to solve a problem.

cole was a problem, wasn’t he? 

except he could not be fixed.

“i was—.”

“cole.”

“what if  _ it _ happens again?”

the earth ninja scanned kai’s features in the forced moment of silence. he could tell so obviously that the brunet wanted to know what was up, but held himself back from being pushy. cole, too, wanted to know why he was freaking out, because he did not want to believe any of it could be true. 

“what if  _ what _ happens again?”

_ here goes nothing _ , cole thought, eyes downcasting to absently pick at an extra piece of thread on his shorts. his fingers bent into a fist, wiping at his damp eyes in hopes to calm down. “what if you all forget me again?”

“that won’t ha—.”

“ _ no _ , no, it  _ could _ ,” cole interrupted, words clinging to desperation. “what if it  _ does _ ?”

kai position shifted from a crouch, to sitting criss-cross on the bathroom floor in front of cole. palms still opened, the fire ninja hesitantly dropped his hands on cole’s knees . . and cole only knew the touch was paused, out of fear of causing a bigger reaction. 

cole almost jumped up, but held himself back by biting down onto his tongue, fingers curled into his palms. the gesture earned a wince from himself instead, knowing well enough now that the red ninja knew something was eagerly wrong. kai’s head titled immediately after, probably worried if the noise was because of him; if he should back away and give the dark leader space. 

it wasn’t kai’s fault, not necessarily . . cole was jittery. 

“it  _ won’t _ ,” answered the brunet, leaning forward to make cole look at him. “because we would never, and i mean  _ ever _ , leave you behind.”

“you did in the past.”

“we made a  _ mistake _ in the past. and y’know what happens after we make a mistake?”

cole shook his head silently. even if he did know, he did not want to vocally answer.

“we learn from them,” kai answered after the wordless pause. cole watched him blink, doe brown eyes still glistening with concern. “so we don’t make them again.”

the noirette was still quiet. kai’s words repeated in a loop within his head. he wanted to believe them, he really did . . but his relentless thoughts registered them as lies.

cole has made multiple mistakes repeatedly in the past. who was to say others wouldn’t do the same?

“take my hand.”

that was  _ not  _ what he expected kai to say next, the oblivious confusion drawn clearly on his face. “what?” cole blurted, about to shift back—until he realized he was already flush against the wall. 

this time around, the brunet did not hesitate with the touch; his fingertips immediately wiggled into cole’s, interlocking their hands. the earth ninja felt a warm squeeze, lips parted in a suspenseful confusion.

“let go of me please, kai.”

“no.”

“ _ please _ .”

kai gave another squeeze in response, head tilted to the side to soak in cole’s features. he did not want to be looked at so thoroughly; cole did not want to be watched intently as if he was some animal in a zoo and would disappear any second . . again—so his eyes downcasted to the damp floor. 

“do you feel this?” asked the brunet, eyes blinking down to their interlocked hands. cue another gentle squeeze. “can you feel my touch? . . is it warm?”

yeah, it was warm—even warmer than when the boy’s hands were against cole’s shoulders. it made the noirette shiver. and he knew if the situation was not as icky, he would have welcomed the warm hands without second thought; probably would have jumped up and tackled the other playfully to the floor, even if it was the early hours of the morning. however, the only response cole managed to answer with was a nod, unsure to where this was leading to.

“it’s because you’re  _ real _ , right?” continued kai, words punctuated to try and get the point across. “you’re not a ghost. you’re not forgotten. you  _ are _ my brother, and i promise you will never be ignored. ever.”

promises are meant to be broken.

“cole, please look at me.”

the black ninja answered with a sniffle. and it took kai letting go one of their hands to reconnect eye contact—only because cole felt the warmness on his chin, and his head gently turned forward to look at kai. the touch was gentle; it was soft and it was warm, flooding cole’s mind and thoughts of happier times from the past.

“are you listening to me?”

cole nodded, and kai’s hand let go of his chin—returning to interlock their fingers. 

“you know you can tell us about anything that’s bothering you, right?”

another nod. 

“even if it’s as little as too much butter on your bread? . . to as big as being forgotten,  _ right _ ?”

cole answered with a nod, sniffling. “i know,” the black ninja vocalized softly, tilting his head to gingerly wipe his nose against his shoulder’s sleeve. 

he thought kai would have raised an eyebrow at the quite nasty gesture—that the brunet would whisper a playful ‘ _ ew! _ ’ and laugh it off. but he did not . . because this was sincere. and it was not a time to be joking. kai, out of all people, knew when things were getting real, that they became serious. 

so, this time around, cole was the boy to gently squeeze their hands. the movement offered reassurances; it offered a silent thank you. and just as predicted, kai understood the memo.

“okay?” whispered the red ninja, the tiny sparkle of a smile visible on his lips, knowing he had helped.

“i’m okay.”

“wanna stand up now? . . i still have to, uh, y’know—pee.”

cole let a few mumbles slip through, realizing he had forgotten and did not want to take up too much of either of their night. the earth elemental master nodded one last time, before shifting his legs underneath him. he did not have to use the side of the tub to stand up this time, thanks to kai’s support. however, his eyesight gingerly looked down at the cracked tub’s edge—and kai noticed, following his gaze.

“it’s alright,” cooed the brunet, head shaking. “i’m sure we can get nya or even zane to fix it tomorrow. if anyone asks,  _ i  _ broke it, okay? and  _ i _ was the once who slipped into it trying to pee, okay?”

“kai—.”

“you have enough on your plate already, cole. don’t worry about the tub.”

fsm, what did cole ever do to deserve such amazing friends—such amazing  _ family _ ?

“are you sure?” questioned the black ninja once more, hands dropped out of kai’s to drape by his own side. the boy took a step towards the door, ready to watch some tv before crashing on the couch for the night—he was not sure he would last back in the shared bedroom of all five of them. 

“yeah, dude. don’t worry ‘bout it,” waved off kai, looking up from the broken tub and at his teammate. “. . are you gonna try to go back to bed or—?”

cole shook his head to deny the question, eyes blinking away the leftover tears. “the couch.”

“wanna play me in video games? we can work together to beat jay’s high score.”

a grin slipped onto cole’s lips at the simple words, knowing the fire ninja could oh-so easily make him feel better. “as long as i get the orange controller.”

“i want blue,” kai answered. “it’ll mean more when we kick jay off the top if we use his own stuff.”

“he’s gonna yell at you.”

“he yells at me anyway. might as well make it worth it.”

cole knew that was true. he also knew that this sinking feeling of being forgotten would come back eventually—unlike him, it never seemed to go away. of course there would be little blissful break in between if he occupied himself long enough, but feeling down was inevitable. however, having someone actually see him crying—someone actual talking back about his experience, felt beneficial.

and it helped, albeit it was only a little bit. 

“let’s knock down zane’s top scores, too, while we’re at it.”

a matching grin on his lips as well now, the brunet nodded in agreement to cole’s words. “like the way you think.”

cole gave finger guns, before knocking on the wall once to let kai know he was going back into the family room to set up the video games. he shut the wooden bathroom door close. a  _ click! _ echoed immediately after, signaling that kai had locked the door. 

dropping into the couch, the master of earth sighed. the ship, for once, was actually quiet. a dark glow emitted from the purple nightlight lloyd insisted be placed in the hall, casaging the rooms in a cool, midnight darkness. he paused, hands running confidently through his hair once again—a complete opposite from earlier, where he did the movement with desperation, damp with tears. 

cole felt strong. he felt . . well—good. definitely better than before. 

as the game system blinked on, orange controller in hand, the bathroom door swung quietly opened—and out walked kai. the red ninja’s hair was still just as messy from before. cole watched him crack his knuckles and reach for the blue controller, before clumsily plopping down onto the couch right next to cole—practically on top of him.

“let’s do this, baby.”

and then the night seemed to pass away in a bliss of laughter. cole could not care less if they woke someone else up, because this? . . the feeling bubbling in his heart? 

it was worth getting in trouble for. 

and it sure as hell beat feeling like shit. 

**Author's Note:**

> as usual, comments n kudos r appreciated <3 hope y’all enjoyed !!


End file.
